I’M STILL HERE AND I’M STILL WAITING
There are moments in this journey when I look at everything that has happened and struggle to put it into words. More than $72,000 has been raised. More than 2,000 people have stepped into my story. Millions of people have seen my face. People I have never met have prayed for me, cried with me, encouraged me and helped carry my family through one of the hardest seasons of our lives.
And tonight, I need you to know something.
I still don’t have the kidney.
Tomorrow morning I will wake up with the same kidney failure I had when this story began. I will still depend on dialysis to stay alive. The boxes and bags will still be there. The appointments will still be there. The medical expenses will still be there. And that number — 99.9999% cPRA — will still remind us just how extraordinarily difficult finding someone medically compatible may be.
But I will still be here too.
Still fighting. Still believing. Still wanting desperately to watch my 13-year-old daughter grow up.
I want to see the young woman she becomes. I want to be there for graduations and birthdays and ordinary Tuesday afternoons that nobody thinks are precious until they’re faced with the possibility of losing them. I want more years with my wife. I want to preach more sermons. I want to laugh until my stomach hurts. I want to annoy my friends for decades to come. I want to grow old enough to complain about being old.
I don’t want my daughter to have to remember me. I want her to keep making memories WITH me.
That’s what all of this is about.
And while we search, there is another reality I haven’t always been comfortable talking about.
Staying alive is expensive.
Dialysis doesn’t stop while we’re searching. Neither do the medical bills, Medicare coinsurance, medications, transportation, housing, utilities and everyday expenses of trying to maintain a safe life around peritoneal dialysis. Before this campaign ever began, years of serious illness had already taken an enormous financial toll on me.
So when I look at $72,000, I don’t see a fundraising number.
I see time.
I see another dialysis treatment. I see gas in the vehicle to get to another appointment. I see another month with a roof over my head where I can safely perform dialysis. I see another morning I get to wake up and tell my daughter:
“Daddy’s still here.”
And I see thousands of people essentially saying:
“Steven, keep going.”
So I will.
But there is something else I see when I look at more than 2,000 people who have already stepped into this story.
I see 2,000 doorways to somebody else.
Maybe the person reading this isn’t medically able to donate a kidney. Maybe the person who sees it tomorrow isn’t either. But that person knows somebody. And that somebody knows somebody else.
And somewhere at the end of that chain may be the person we’ve been trying so desperately to reach.
That’s why I refuse to believe we’ve come this far for the story to end here.
$72,000 isn’t the finish line.
Millions of views aren’t the finish line.
2,000 people aren’t the finish line.
The finish line is the phone call.
The one where somebody says:
“Steven, we found your kidney.”
Until that phone rings, every person who enters this story matters. Every dollar represents more time to keep fighting. Every new set of eyes represents another possibility that my one is finally going to see me.
Somewhere tonight is a person who has absolutely no idea that they could become part of the reason a father gets to grow old.
I pray somehow this reaches them.
And until it does, I’ll keep waking up. I’ll keep hooking up to dialysis. I’ll keep praying. I’ll keep believing. I’ll keep fighting.
Because after everything God has already carried me through, I’m not giving up this close to the miracle.
Thank you for keeping me here.
Thank you for carrying my family.
Thank you for seeing me.
And wherever this story travels next, I have only one request:
DON’T LET IT STOP WITH YOU.
Maybe you’re not my one.
Maybe you KNOW my one.
TO LEARN ABOUT BECOMING A LIVING KIDNEY DONOR
HCA Midwest Health Living Donor Program
Patient: Steven Mills
DOB: 12/23/1977
https://www.hcamidwest.com/patient-resources/living-donor-program
TO HELP KEEP ME IN THIS FIGHT WHILE WE SEARCH
GoFundMe organized by Joshua Liljenquist:
https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-pastor-steven-fight-for-his-life-p74hx
TO SEE THE STORY THAT HELPED MILLIONS OF PEOPLE FIND ME
Joshua Liljenquist’s story about my kidney search:
https://archive.joshliljenquist.com/media/watch/kake-news-josh-liljenquist-garden-city-kidney-donor/
I’m still here. And as long as I’m still here, there is still hope.
#DontLetItStopWithYou #FindStevensOne #KidneyDonor #LivingKidneyDonor